The Secret to Transforming Your Life

Today I was on a call with three young ladies interested in dropping some body fat and getting in shape for summer.

Seems simple enough, but then comes the magic question…

“What’s holding you back from getting your results already.”

Most people know what to do, eat healthier, and move more. For the vast majority of people this is the path, and they knew this too. Their problem was that they didn’t feel motivated to do something about it. They would start, then stop.

And this is the crux of the problem. Every time you start something and stop without finishing, you build up a negative image of yourself, as someone who doesn’t follow through, who doesn’t do what they said they would.

I asked a bit more about what had led to this situation, and that’s when the truth revealed itself.

The language they used described the negative self-image that started when they were younger. It was keeping them from taking action to move forward, and the less action they took, the more this language took hold.

Good thing they are still young, left long enough, these issues can spiral into a series of poor choices. These choices compound over time to build up even more of a negative identity as someone who lacks integrity.

I asked them one simple question.

“What would it mean for you to feel sexy in your own skin.”

Their eyes lit up. They not only loved the idea, it was exactly what they wanted. Feeling sexy isn’t just about looks, it’s about the confident image of yourself. It’s real empowerment. And they saw that future.

But there was still doubt in their eyes, I could see it clear as day. I knew it because I had been in their shoes when I was that age. I knew that pain, that lack of belief. I smiled and began to tell them a story.

I knew their pain because when I was in middle school I had teased for my body.

This was the 80s. Thigh gaps were all the rage. I was the chubby kid. I didn’t fit the skinny chick mold, not remotely.

By high school, I took matters into my own hands and leaned into fitness and eating healthier. I lost the chubbiness, but I knew I didn’t want to be “skinny.” It wasn’t who I was.

I loved to dance, and fell in love with strength training. By college, I was the “fit chick,” and the obsession with the 80s thigh gap was fading out.

Through college I leaned in even more and became a personal trainer, becoming the top trainer in the health club I was working at.

On top of that, my rebellious side came out. I was the one that got away with “breaking the rules”. Being the top earner has its privileges, and I owned that identity.

After hearing this story, they realized they were in the right place. I walked them through how this would work.

I told them we first need to work on this negative self-talk. We’re going to start doing the things we know we need to do, eating healthier and moving our bodies more. And when they do, they start looking forward to the healthy, sexy, confident women they want to be.

The first step is key. Build awareness of the negative self-talk that’s going on.

This is bleeding off your momentum and keeping you from reaching the goals your dreaming of.

We need to reverse these with the second step, taking action!

This is about taking small steps and stacking wins to build momentum. For example, if you’re not used to strength training, start with just walking or doing some bodyweight movements. If going to a gym feels weird to you, that’s the negative identity talking, start at home.

The next step is to imagine yourself as the person these actions are leading you towards. For these ladies, I’ll have them imagine being fit, sexy, and loving who they see in the mirror while they take action.

It will take time, the brain does not change overnight. But daily consistency will change any identity!

Then, finally, praise yourself for getting the job done. This will all combine to make those negative voices a little more quiet.

Continue this process, paying attention to the negative talk. Finding one action to fight back against these negative voices. Imagine the person you want to become. Praise yourself for getting it done.

The goal here is to build a new identity. Your identity is who you believe yourself to be, and that belief is formed by your actions every day.

This can be hard to do on your own. It takes a lot of awareness, as you can end up with blind spots and not even see your own negative self-talk because it becomes so common.

You can’t see the label when you’re inside the bottle.

I help my clients in three key ways:

• Identify the negative language by carefully listening to your words to describe yourself.

• Assigning homework to tackle the next steps that give you easy wins to build momentum.

• Understand the identity you really want to become.

• And praise! This seems simple, but self-praise is difficult when you're starting out.

There’s two ways you can speed up this process.

Coach with me!

I love helping people overcome these problems, and I’m really good at it.

For a limited time, I’m offering a free Zoom call to discuss what’s holding you back and what you can do about it. There are no strings attached. I don’t want the thought of money holding you back! I’ll at least give you suggestions on how to move forward.

If it feels like I can help you more, we can figure out the right pace and ability for you to invest in yourself.

Join the community!

We have a very supportive community to help you get started if coaching isn’t affordable right now. We’re just getting the community set up.

Click the link below, and we will email you when it’s ready over the next few days.

And we are also launching a referral program. Share this with your friends, family or anyone you think would enjoy it. We have prizes like T-Shirts, Brownies and even Coaching w/ Alli for different milestones of how many referrals come from you!